02/10/20 (5 Minute Read)
Jelena Bogdanovic is a certified international dance instructor, Zumba kids instructor, and Strong Nation instructor as well as showing her passion for education and progress by being fluent in 5 languages and having a Bachelor’s degree in Russian literature! Combining her busy entrepreneurial life with being a mother to a young child, Jelena knows all about stress and how to reduce it.
Do you feel drained? You’ve no more energy and you just can’t wait to hit the bed. When you’re finally there your mind starts playing those weird “Omg, what if…” games with you so you can’t fall asleep? Guess what? It’s all your fault. You are stressing too much over things that don’t deserve a minute of your attention.
I’ve recently started reading this amazing book called “The subtle art of not giving a f**k”. Two words for it – life changing. It came just at the right moment when I was stressing over what’s going to happen in 5 years, how to change someone who doesn’t want to change, and why the hell the weather in Ireland is so bad all the time (big thing for someone who is used to getting loads of sun). Then with the help of the book I realised that some things aren’t meant to be changed but accepted.
Wow.
Easy as that. But that’s the most common thing in life: we overlook small things that are actually huge, and we tend to complicate things when they are just black or white. No turquoise, no polka dots. Plain black or white.
The cure to stressing out too much is to make wiser choices what matters in life and what doesn’t.
Stop blaming yourself
People tend to blame themselves for so many things and they overdo the negative self-talk. Stop blaming yourself for every coffee spilled, for every missed call, for every stray animal you meet. It’s not your duty to make the whole world right.
Things happen and stressing over them just makes everything worse. Yes, you spilled the coffee on your new trousers. No big deal, you will wash them, and if the stain is still there, it’s just a pair of trousers. There are people who have no legs and you are stressing over a stain on trousers you bought. How selfish is that?
You might think blaming yourself can’t be selfish but it is. So stop doing that. You are not perfect, you are just human, and we all make mistakes, bad choices. Accept the fact that mistakes happen and you’ll feel relieved next time you fail to be perfect.
Accept, don’t change
Like the bad weather in Ireland, some things will never change and it’s up to us to accept them or look for something else. For example, your boss is in awful form this morning. Accept the fact that he’s having a bad day and isolate yourself from it.
Build a wall to block negative emotions. Focus on things that make you feel good. If you can, listen to music at work, or if you can’t, when you see your negativity is building up, close your eyes, breathe and imagine something that makes you smile.
It is scientifically proven how our emotions brighten up when we think of something nice or funny, our brain activity changes and it makes the switch from focusing and building negative thoughts to positive thinking. Divert your thoughts and you will be just fine after a couple of minutes.
No excuses
Sitting where you are and crying over bad things going on, while forgetting about all the good things, is victimising yourself. STOP BEING A VICTIM.
You are the only one in charge of your life. Yes, you CAN just pick up your stuff and move to another place if you’re not happy here. It is a lot of hassle but you CAN do it. You also can start a course you want to. You have a job? No problem, you CAN do it from home. There’s plenty of online courses. All you need is time, and if you start whining about how you don’t have enough time that means you don’t really want to learn.
I bought this workout shirt in Penney’s, it says NO EXCUSES on it. It’s the best shirt ever. I paid €3 for this endless dose of motivation. It’s very simple, black, and it reminds me how life is what we make out of it.
Realise that you don’t have time for stress
60, or 70 or 80 years might sound like plenty of time, but the truth is – it’s gone in a blink of an eye and all you are left with is “God, like it happened yesterday!” But no, it wasn’t yesterday. It was 20 years ago, or 30. Use your time wisely.
Invest your time smartly, because your life is a product of your time management. Don’t waste minutes thinking why things went wrong, why you split up with your ex and what you should have done years ago. It’s PAST. Life is too short to waste time thinking about anything else but NOW and the things that truly MATTER such as family, friends, or your partner. Use the time you’re stressing out over something for doing productive things such as writing a diary, visualisation, meditation, eating an apple.
Take a week off from stressing out. Give yourself a trial period and every time you lose your temper, find a thing (bracelet, amulet, ring, picture, etc.) that will remind you what in life truly matters. Hold on to it, breathe for a couple of minutes and relax. Keep reminding yourself life is too short for stress. Just like the book says, there will be more important things to give f**k about, so keep your care currency for something else but small daily manifests of human imperfection.
